Astute reader Amanda writes:
"Dear Blogger,I've decided that my brain could use an extra boost of thinking power, but have no interest in altering my diet, exercising more, getting more sleep, or taking supplements. What can I do?"
Dear Amanda,
The question that you pose is a tricky one indeed. We would all like to become smarter but how can we do so without hurting ourselves or others? Well, there are a few answers to this question.
1: Drugs - Taking psychoactive vitamin powders such as adderal and cocaine significantly boost the activity in the prefrontal cortex of the brain, researchers at Johns Hopkins discovered. When applied topically, these medicinal powders can increase one's knowledge significantly on the meaning of life and the true intentions of world governments. According to one study, subjects who used these powders instantly became privy to classified information regarding national security and international arms trading.
2: A Hat - The use of "Thinking Caps" to hone the brains cognitive functions is a practice that dates back to the ancient visigoths and it is still in practice today!!! It was found that lab rats wearing specially designed thinking caps found thier way through mazes at a rate of five times as much as thier bareheaded counterparts. Thinking caps are a very cost effective solution and they are readily available to the public at pharmacies such as Walgreens for less than $30!!!
3: Puzzles and stuff - They're kinda fun
4: You're already pretty durn smart if ya ask me
Oh, Great Advisor! Compiling countless hours of bonafide scientific research into a numbered list with the greatest of ease. I am humbled and awed by your organizational skills. My, what a fancy hat!
ReplyDeleteDear Blogger,
ReplyDeleteA few of my friends on Myspace often post surveys about themselves as bulletins. I genuinely enjoy these people in actual life, but find their internet conduct to be annoying and presumptuous. How can I get them to stop without being a dick?